Free Service – Mental Help Desk launched on Koh Phangan Island!



Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan
Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan

Koh Phangan Island News is very proud to announce its successful launch of the new Mental Help Desk service here on Koh Phangan Paradise Island.

Full Moon Party package tours are available now in most western countries for very affordable prices. Globalization, commercialization and international marketing of Koh Phangan Paradise Island might also attract more and more mentally unstable patients coming to the hidden Island in the Gulf of Thailand. This indeed worries us here at Island News headquarters and therefore we shortly decided to launch the new and improved Mental Help Desk!

Island administration officials recently announced that local security task forces are no longer prepared to properly handle the massive increasing numbers of tourists on this island. Whilst being at constant high risk level this brand new and certified Island facility is urgently needed to finally provide security in most areas of the island.

Our Mental Help Desk team consists of highly enthusiastic and specially trained experts from different psychological areas. All our online psychiatrists are certified by KPIN and have participated in unique brain research programs to fine adjust to the islands extraordinary needs!

Hearing voices? Schizophrenic? Depression? Paranoia? Drug induced disorders? Post Traumatic Ejaculation? Panic Attacks? Sleep Terror? Delirium? Help needed?

If YOU experience any UN-NORMAL signs of mental activity while being on Koh Phangan Island then please don’t hesitate one single second and call one of the island FREE HOTLINE numbers listed below or contact us immediately! All calls are confidential! No HIDDEN costs!

NO TOURIST HAS BEEN DENIED TREATMENT SINCE THE SUCCESSFUL LAUNCH OF THE MENTAL HELPDESK!

MentalHelpDeskKohPhangan-04
Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan

Dr. Prof. Mikee Hershnuts
Location: Thongsala
HOTLINE: +66-01-5354506

* Major Depressive Disorder
* Social Phobia
* Alcoholism
* Alzheimer’s Disease
* Post Traumatic Ejaculation
* Combat Disorders

MentalHelpDeskKohPhangan-03
Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan

Prof. Prof. Ara
Location: Haad Kon Thi
HOTLINE: +66-01-0828638

* Schizoid Personality Disorder
* Drug induced disorders
* Impulse-Control Disorder NOS
* Insomnia
* Panic Disorder
* Delirium

MentalHelpDeskKohPhangan-01
Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan

Dr. Prof. Dr. EinTom
Location: Strinz-Trinitatis
HOTLINE: +49-6126-70285

* Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
* Kleine-Levin Syndrome
* Substance-Related Disorders
* Trichotillomania
* Restless Legs Syndrome
* Vaginismus

MentalHelpDeskKohPhangan-02
Mental Help Desk Koh Phangan

Prof. Dr. Retard
Location: Baan Tai
HOTLINE: +66-77-377733

* Munchausen Syndrome
* Suicidal Behavior (not on MeSH)
* Delusional Disorder
* Bulimia Nervosa
* Stuttering
* Kleptomania

Please don’t hesitate and call us NOW!

One thought on “Free Service – Mental Help Desk launched on Koh Phangan Island!

  • April 27, 2005 at 6:27 am
    Permalink

    I know Mikes father would be proud! Where do I go to get a PHD in the lunitic club of Koh Phan-Ngan. I feel this way sometimes!

    Reply

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