Buakao Inn Thongsala Koh Phangan Island – A’s Republican Coffee House?
Located directly in the heart of Thongsala next to the financial headquarters of Krung Thai Bank on Koh Phangan Paradise Island is the Buakao Inn! Some call it A’s Coffee Shop … others A’s Republican Coffee House?
The Buakao Inn has been run for nearly a decade by Sophie and Mike, the nice looking couple on the picture to the left. Sophie always uses the latest innovations in shampoos and is regularly very worried about the look of her freshly washed & well conditioned hair! Sophie is an expert in the field of hair shampoos and whenever you experience serious problems finding the right solution for you hair, then Sophie will be more than happy to guide you into the fascinating world of female hair problems 😉 You’re more than welcome!
Well … Mike … he’s an American bloke! And world’s recent history has taught us one simple and easy to understand golden rule. American’s are simply the best breed on this planet and they are of course in constant communication with God! George W. Bush experienced this privilege of pleasure to listen to the voice of God many times and still seems to have massive problems understanding the messages given from the Lord. Well … this opens up another question … does God speak English??
Anyway … as far as Becki found out Mike is also in constant communication with the voice from above but his translation is far more accurate and Becki enjoys listening to the wisdom Mike has to offer every single day!
Asking Mike about the WTC 9/11 disaster … bush administration … the new world order … if he personally was/is involved in any way with it? Well, Mike always changes the subject of the conversation immediately and starts receiving these messages from above again! What a smart guy 😉
Please check out the Picture Gallery => Buakao Inn Thongsala Koh Phangan Island – A’s Republican Coffee House
So … The Buakao Inn – Guest House & Coffee Shop! As far as Becki can tell it is the first address in main town Thongsala on Koh Pha-Ngan Paradise Island. The Buakao Inn offers exceptional service and you will experience that as soon as you put your first step inside this coffee house. Then it takes an average of 3 to 5 seconds until the friendly, smiling staff confronts you immediately with the massive red looking User’s Guide of the Buakao Inn. And then you have to decide really quickly otherwise the friendly, smiling staff will transform into something you have never thought about in your wildest dreams. The average given response time must not exceed 10 seconds otherwise they mix additional MSG in whatever you’re willing to order.
So you better make up your mind BEFORE entering the republican coffee house otherwise you might run into serious trouble – try to avoid that 😉
The Buakao Inn User’s Guide comes in a bright red color and this should inform you right up front that you’re in a HIGH RISK area on Koh Phangan as constantly monitored by our TASAS system! The Buakao Inn is NOT a place for Cheap Charlie’s as the prices are one of the most expensive ones on the island with additional yearly massive price increases also guaranteed!
The world famous pizza baguette is always a safe option to choose. It’s delicious and well done and costs you only 150 Baht and brings you close to receive the Cheap Charlie Award! Always on the menu is a daily special of whatever culinary dreams Mike experienced in his bed last night. Price range for the daily special starts from around 200 Baht up to 500 Baht or even more if Mike managed to get some of those reptoids steaks from Alpha Centaury!
Very well done is also the Café Latte by staff member Jane who is desperately looking for Tarzan and hasn’t managed yet to get in contact with him. Also always complain and ask for a new Café Latte if it doesn’t have 3 EXACT layers like it’s supposed to have! This will make the staff grumpy and guarantees you some more MSG to deep fry your brain cells 😉
Speaking about grumpy staff … we all miss Toy a lot! Toy was for many years the boss of the entire team of friendly & charming waitresses at the Buakao Inn. Some days Toy was so grumpy she wouldn’t even give a shit about you! Oh … we miss her a lot 😉 Also always remember to regularly order a FREE glass of water every 10 to 15 minutes or so. It’s like I said a FREE glass of water and you don’t have to pay for this! If you do this in perfectly calculated regular time intervals the entire staff at the Buakao Inn goes really, really nuts 😉 And if you’re lucky enough you can grasp a short look of what’s hidden behind the endless, never ending smile 😉 It’s awesome I can tell you 😉
Well … the service at Buakao Inn is of course only exceptional as long as CEO Mike is personally present in his coffee shop! Once a year, mostly around June, July, CEO Mike Hershman leaves the island and goes on a secret mission to California in the United States of America, where he joins the even more secret meetings of the Bilderberg Group in the hidden Bohemian Grove somewhere in ancient Redwood Forests of Northern California! Mike is of course ALWAYS denying the awful truth 😉
However … as soon as Mike is on his secret mission the Buakao Inn transforms into a hair consulting studio with lots of lazy staff lying in the corner in the back enjoying their all day catnap! The service goes down to ZERO … no more daily specials … ordering something from the red User’s Guide, which you have to get now by yourself, is a pain in the ass … you sort of have to beg for ordering food … and this FREE glass of water is constantly denied like it would have never existed! Be warned … better be well prepared when CEO Mike is not around 😉
The Buakao Inn Guest House also offers clean & affordable rooms. Some of the rooms have air condition others only a fan! Price ranges … Becki doesn’t have any idea, but be warned with room number A4 … it has installed hidden web cams in both the sleeping room and also the toilets! The room is also equipped with a brand new tiny device, called ICUX7, monitoring all your activities in that room! Be warned!
Mike also offers mental advice & consulting service for different life forms! If you’re desperately seeking for specific help on certain subjects then this link might be useful for you. Ask Dr. Mike 😉
As Mike is always interested in those printed tiny papers with the word ‘In God we Trust’ on it, he has developed some marvelous ideas how to conquer the world of Real Estate Objects on hidden Koh Phangan Paradise Island.
Finally … if you’re looking for a professional and personal hair consultant then please dial Sophie on her phone 077-377 226!
If you want to find out more about the voice from above then don’t hesitate and call Mike on his cell phone. Dial 01-5354506 – all calls confidential, of course!
If you would like to send an email then please write to <a href=”firstname.lastname@example.org”>email@example.com</a>
So … welcome to the Buakao Inn – A’s Republican Coffee House!
p.s. sometimes while sitting in the coffee house Becki has the strange feeling of being observed by something NOT human … probably reptoids?? Who knows?
p.s.s. By the way, Mike is also an outstanding expert in the fields of reptoids and other secret lizard shit! Need more info? Dial 01-5354506!
3 thoughts on “Buakao Inn Thongsala Koh Phangan Island – A’s Republican Coffee House?”
thanks for the rave review. to settle any misunderstanding the info in this restaurant review is all certified correct by the bureau of truth and morals.
the eyes of the buffalo head are also web cam-information gathering devices.
Excellent review! I’m fairly sure Mikes not a republican, but once I heard him saying to a bloke from old Europe “you’re either with us or you’re against us” hmmm. I also overheard him on the phone with the Bilderberg Group he was receiving additional messages from above, his eyes rolled back into his head and he was speaking in some strange coded language. I’m wondering if Mike has a connection with the bloke from Paris, you know who I mean!
Aside from little things like the above A’s is a cool spot to hang out and drink free water. It makes me sad to hear Toy is no longer at the Buakao Inn; I’ll have to wait for the rest of that story. Sophie looks great; it’s too bad about the hair…
What a fantastic buffet, Mike either has one before we arrive or one to celebrate our leaving, after we have left of course. Beckman neglected to mention beer at A’s, I know Fat Gino had some concerns regarding the lack of large Changs!
I recently saw some video taken from the buffalo head, some one took it on a ride to Haad Rin.
Bukake Inn, mmmmm, goes without saying, over the years part of my travel rituals have included pulling up a stool (mmmm), ordering a cold beer and watching the stray rabble from the world over languishing in the comfort of Mike’s somewhat languid gaze at A’s Coffee shop/food emporium (home of the world’s greatest bagget (sic) pizzas). Mike always offers a nonchalant welcome as you enter his all American home away from home enterprise. Quick to assess your financial worth he will drop a sticky menu into your hands as he summonses forward one of his brain dead grumpy Thai staff to take your order. Service is quick and somewhat surprisingly tasty, conversation unfortunately is somewhat akin to the type that one would encounter in a crack rehab clinic. A’s Coffee shop/food emporium (home of the world’s greatest bagget (sic) pizzas) and your all American home away from home, will never leave you dissapointed as nothing will ever change year after year. Mike in his usual pale blue sleeveless tank top, cargo shorts, and sandaled feet will always be there, pointing you to an empty table and chair from where you can idly languish under his languid gaze as he sums up your financial worth, and contemplates as to whether you have had a blow job from a ladyboy or if you have ever given a ladyboy a blow job. Oh and by the way if you had to quiz him on the African tiger you will be quite surprised at his knowledge of this fabled African legend….